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  02.14.01 One of the biggest complaints parents have is that they never have
time and energy to pay attention to each other romantically. Fighting
children often have a great deal to do with it--keeping the peace is
exhausting.
Sincerely,
This issue's main article could go a long way towards settling one age-old squabble among siblings: who sits where in the car. As author Amanda Formaro reminds us, setting a few simple ground rules can really make a difference. And, because it is Valentine's Day, I would be totally remiss if I didn't address the romance issue just a little. So I've included some tips to help busy parents remember how the kids got here in the first place. Until further notice, (which would be you getting another issue at some point in the future) ParentingDay is going on hiatus. Thank you for your loyal readership--I have really enjoyed writing for you.
Betsy Boyd Editor, ParentingDay
 It's a common situation, all over the country. Who gets to sit in the
front seat on the way to school? "It's my turn! He got to yesterday!"
whines Jessica. "No way! I'm the oldest, so I get to!" argues Andrew.
So what to do?Aside from creating a war amongst the children and yourself, try one of these solutions. Different things work for different people, perhaps one of these is for you. Safety Note: It is recommended that children under the age of 15 sit in the back seat. If your vehicle is equipped with a passenger side Supplemental Restraint System (SRS or airbag), do not allow children in the front seat, as it can be fatal. Off Limits The front seat is off limits to kids. If this is an option for you, assuming you have enough seats in your vehicle to accommodate all the children while leaving the front passenger seat empty, then lay the ground rules now. So as not to appear such an ogre, Mom can allow each child to take turns choosing where they sit in the back. Perhaps the oldest picks each day, or rotate each child. This rule definitely applies if you have a passenger side airbag. Under no circumstances should you allow a child to ride up front when a supplemental restraint system (SRS or airbag) is present. Seniority Allow the oldest child the privilege of always having the front seat. The oldest child normally carries the most responsibility in the household as far as chores and other duties are concerned. Consider this a privilege that he has earned because of his order in the family. |
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Taking Turns We all want to instill sharing and turn taking in our children. Get a calendar and post it on the refrigerator, at the front door, or keep it in the glove box. Alternate each child's name on the calendar, allowing for even rotation of their turn in the front seat. To make things less complicated, you can rotate on a monthly basis instead (i.e., Jenny is March, Tim is April, Alice is may, etc.) For someone with two children, a simple alternative might be to allow one child the front seat on the way to school and the other the front on the way home. Special Occasions On special occasions, such as birthdays, allow the birthday child to sit up front. Have fun with this! Create your own special days. If Timmy's birthdays falls on May 19th, then declare the 19th of each month "Timmy Day". Assigned Seating Some parents may find it easier to simply assign seats within the vehicle. That way, each morning everyone knows where they are expected to sit. No arguments. This may be your choice if you have more than three children as seating becomes limited, especially if you have younger children that require car seats. Implementing one of these systems should help to ease you out the door in the morning without too much hassle. Keeping the peace in the family is good for everyone.
Amanda Formaro is the entrepreneurial, homeschooling mother of four children. She and her husband live in southeastern Wisconsin. She is also the owner of FamilyCorner.com Magazine. Small Moments, Big Payoffs This year, I invite you to take charge of your romantic needs. We so often expect our partners to read our minds and understand exactly what we need. When we're feeling needy, it seems somehow like it adds insult to the injury to explain exactly what we need to feel better. And anyway, when we do explain it and they do it, it's not as "good" somehow as if they had come up with it on their own. If you've been caught in this passive-aggressive trap, I have four words: Snap Out Of It! A simple card slipped into his briefcase or pocket detailing what you'd like to do that night before you go to sleep can work wonders. Too busy to celebrate V-Day in a truly special way this year? Sit down with a calendar tonight and schedule a make-up day. Divide up duties (he takes care of food, you take care of kids and entertainment, or vice-versa). Planning together can help make the day even more significant, because both of you are invested from the start. The most important thing: figure out what would make you happy, and ask for it. And by the way, try to think about what would make him happy, too. Valentine's Day is not the exclusive domain of women. If you don't know what he'd regard as a good date, you'd better ask. You should be at least as dedicated as he is to fulfilling that desire. Good luck grabbing that moment of romance. |
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